She builds light

all around and above

like through a cathedral.

heart and earth

It took me time

to learn

that heart doesn’t take a h at the end

like earth

it took me time

to learn

these were two different things.

I need a new heart

and a new face

new lungs

and new kidneys

I really need a new liver

and mostly new eyes

new better stronger bones

a whole new skin

and new ears

I need new balls

and definitely a new dick

I gotta get a new tongue

but the spleen looks just fine.

Adrift dream

dead but still there

hindering my eyes.

Such din of muteness

tears down my blood

drowning my soul.

I crushed my bones against her breast

and I drowned

away

from her

me

and everything we could have been.

She’s seismical

She’s bitter and raw and keen

Burning down my flesh.

No ground to stand on

no wall to rest on

no sky to look up to

we’re drowning

drifting

disappearing

with all we could have been

done

and said.

To throw

everything in the river

to become

who I really am

until I stand up

and let the city

come back into me.

Montrealities

At the edge of the city

Springtime sensations.

Watching

her

walk

Disappear

And

never

seeing

her

again.

Roots

don’t face down

but inside.

Light flows

On her black coal hair

Please don’t turn around.

Intoxicated

By the rough ink of the night

Waiting for the dawn.

***

I went to bed pretty early yesterday, as I felt tired and lethargic, expecting some great rest for the week to come. But I felt like this night was exhausting. Tons of heavy, crowded, thick dreams. Morning felt like a relief.

All the roads are suicide

All the doors are suicide

All the ways are suicide

All the paths are suicide

All the exits are suicide

All the docks are suicide

All the passages are suicide

All the issues are suicide

But yet I’m still alive.

***

I thought of this poem watching Babel yesterday (yeah I’m 2 years late), a brilliant reflexion about frontiers and all the shapes they can take.